


Professor Von Genbu: Extra Credit

by tbat



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, One-Shots, but some of it is inevitably gonna be fluff as well, mostly just Absolute Buffoonery, rex/pyra is an Established Relationship in most of these
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2020-03-19 23:53:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18980926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tbat/pseuds/tbat
Summary: One-shots/scenes that don't really fit into the actual story (what little story there is) of Professor Von Genbu, Bringer of Drama.





	1. Sbeve

**Author's Note:**

> hey hi hello if you're someone who enjoyed professor von genbu and are wondering why it's been literally half a year since it updated...i dunno what to tell you man, consistent updates are hard when you're a Fool. in the meantime, please enjoy these scenes that would have no place in the story but that i felt like writing anyway.
> 
> also yes this first one is just the latest entry in the Rex and Pyra Are Confronted By Memes saga

A low sniffle broke the once-comfortable silence of Pyra's bedroom, prompting Rex to look up from his phone. Leaning against him with her knees tucked up to her chest, her own phone inches from her widened, watery eyes, Pyra let out another choked gasp. A single tear had left a wet trail down her cheek, passing by her quivering mouth.

Practically dropping his phone, Rex brought his face closer to hers, his brow furrowing in concern. She looked  _devastated,_ what little composure she had left already beginning to crumble and be washed away by her escaping tears. What had happened? As far as he knew she'd been looking at her phone this whole time. Had she gotten some bad news? Was there something she'd been silently suffering with that had finally overwhelmed her? Whatever it was, he couldn't just leave her like this.

"What's wrong, Pyra?" he asked, his voice low. With another, louder sniff, Pyra's eyes broke away from her phone and looked towards Rex.

"O-Oh, nothing's wrong, Rex. It's just..." she paused, flicking her gaze back to her phone for a moment, another tear trickling down her face as she did so. "I found something on Instagram, and it...It made me so sad. It's so  _powerful._ "

"On...Instagram?"

She nodded, a trembling hand thrusting her phone towards him. With a bewildered 'eh?' Rex carefully took the phone from her and looked at what had moved Pyra so deeply that she'd been brought to tears at the mere sight of it.

It was the words "she believed" in bold, eye-catching text on a sparse black background. While most of the letters were in a stark white, several of them had instead been highlighted in bright red. Small, splotchy trails ran off the ends of the red letters, almost like thin smears of blood. These crimson letters spelt out a brutally simple counter-point to the broader message: HE LIED.

Pyra finally broke, a sob escaping her mouth as Rex stared at the image, completely perplexed and considerably less inclined to cry.

It was...well, it  _was_ kinda sad, he supposed. He might have been more moved by it if he hadn't first seen one of these about five years ago. Images like this were very much in the realm of very earnest but unfortunately corny teenagers- not that Rex  _wasn't_ this, but his particular strain of corn had something of a different texture to it. Regardless, it was nothing new to him.

Tonight had evidently been quite a learning experience for Pyra.

"Isn't it amazing? It...really says a lot about our society, doesn't it?" she choked out, dabbing at her eyes.

"Uh...yeah."

He wasn't going to judge. Different things affected different people. Didn't mean he wasn't a little surprised at how emotionally totalled Pyra was by two simple words, hidden within two slightly larger words.

"I've sent it to everyone I know already...I hope they liked it as much as I did..."

Her phone vibrated in Rex's hands, eliciting a gasp from her. Rex held it out to her and she took it eagerly from him, fingers dancing across the screen as she moved to her messages. A new text from Mythra had arrived, just a couple of minutes after Pyra had sent this piece of pure linguistic art to her. Pyra read it over, eyes briefly lighting up in excitement at what her dear sister had to say.

It was a single, small word. Not even a real word.

"Sbeve."

Pyra lowered her phone, the light within her eyes immediately extinguished in favour of dull disappointment.

"Oh."

 

 


	2. Flareon Can't Learn Solarbeam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morag is both passionate and knowledgeable about competitive Pokemon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 100% inspired by this tweet https://twitter.com/ardainian/status/1132432053054480384
> 
> also morag and brighid are married it's not important right now but it's important to the world at large

_"However_ , Flareon is the only fully-evolved Fire-type Pokemon that cannot learn Solarbeam..."

Morag tapped a hastily-made yet still quite competent drawing of Flareon on the blackboard, a short list of its potential moves written in tidy, almost-block like letters underneath. Brighid, standing next to her, nodded in agreement as she began her next drawing- a black-coated, winged lizard, a blast of fire shooting out from its open mouth.

"I understand Flareon may hold some visual appeal to you, Pyra," Morag continued, turning towards Brighid and the new image, "But to see any kind of success, I would strongly recommend a different Fire-type, such as Charizard. Its Mega-Evolution lends it numerous tactical advantages that..."

Rex's attention drifted away from the lecture as he chose to instead stare at his 3DS. Its battery indicator was blinking an urgent red, and had been for some time now. With a heavy heart he gave his game one last emergency save before closing the lid, and with it, closing away his hopes of any kind of escape, even if it would only have been mental rather than physical.

Mythra, sitting just past Pyra, seemed similarly miserable, scowling down at her own dearly departed game console. Pyra, for her part, had an expression of bemused fascination, and had also sensibly closed her 3DS approximately two hours ago, when all this had begun.

He let out as quiet a groan as he could, toeing the fine line between venting some frustration and also _not_ being heard by Morag and being made to recite the ideal IVs and Natures for her preferred team as punishment.

What a terrible mistake talking openly about Pokemon had been.

He hadn't expected it. Why would he? _Zeke_ he could expect. The guy looked like he'd stepped straight out of a video game and staunchly refused to make a single adjustment to the real world in the process. If _he'd_ blindsided them with a marathon lesson on competitive Pokemon, well, that'd just be another day with The Zekenator, Official Tantal Region Pokemon Champion and also banned from all local tournaments for unsporting behaviour towards small children.

Morag, though? No way. Morag didn't play video games. He hadn't _known_ that, of course. He'd just strongly gotten the impression that if you asked her, she'd snort and say "I'm afraid I have precious little time to spend on _children's toys."_ She seemed far too...serious for a fun little pastime like video games.

What Rex had not counted on was that Morag was actually Incredible Serious about having fun.

She'd overheard them talking about their Pokemon teams as they were making their way of their last class for the day, and she had found their strategic choices... _lacking_. So lacking that she had seen fit to give them a crash course on exactly how to fix their individual shortcomings as Pokemon Trainers.

Rex, for his part, had a relatively well-balanced team, but when she had inquired about their IVs, he had naively asked her why she thought his Pokemon were in hospital. His Pokemon choices were... _adequate,_ but they were nowhere near their full potential, a thought that had never crossed Rex's mind because he had just been having fun going on a cross-country adventure with his animal pals without really worrying too much about their latent potential. Two hours and far too many graphs later, he now understood full well what an IV was.

Pyra had fared even worse than him. Her team was made up of nothing but Pokemon she thought were cute. If it made her turn to Rex and exclaim 'I wish I could give them a hug!' it was going on the team. Perhaps not coincidentally, most of her team was unevolved, her Flareon being the sole exception. She had also ended up with both Vulpix variants, because the standard and Alohan Vulpix were 'adorable in their own special ways' and she simply couldn't choose between them. Her complete lack of consideration for team composition was currently the victim of a thorough teardown by Morag.

Mythra, as the worst offender of them all, had been saved for last. Morag had already voiced, quite mercilessly, her disapproval for Rex and Pyra's whimsical selection process, for their penchant for emotion over practicality in battle.

But Mythra? She was pure evil. The anti-thesis of everything competitive Pokemon stood for.

Mythra used nothing but legendary Pokemon. Not even the weaker ones, the legendaries in name only like Phione. Only the best, the most meta-annihilating, the most flagrant enemies of fair play would do for her. An Arceus here, a Ho-Oh there, it didn't matter to Mythra. She wanted to win, so why shouldn't she use all the strongest Pokemon?

Morag's lectures for Rex and Pyra had already been longer than most of her _actual_ lectures. He was terrified to think of what was in store for Mythra. Images of Morag scowling at her shiny Giratina of dubious legitimacy and calling her a coward with no respect for the honour of the battlefield flooded his mind, and he had a feeling that was going to be a very accurate premonition.

Right now, though, Morag had finished meticulously explaining her recommended Charizard moveset, and was preparing to move on to her next segment, Why You Really Only Need One Vulpix. Just as Brighid moved to wipe the Flareon from the board to replace it with her latest illustration however, Pyra raised her hand.

"Pardon me, Mrs. Ladair..."

Morag quirked an eyebrow and nodded at her.

"Yes, Pyra? Was there something you didn't understand? I'd be quite happy to go over some of the finer points again if need be," she said.

"Oh, no, I think I understand what you're saying. I suppose my team _is_ a little difficult to work with. It's just..." Pyra paused and fiddled quickly with her phone, her fingers swiping along a collection of photos. Several dozen pictures of her and Rex in varying states of cuddle whizzed past as she sought out her goal before finally landing on it. She held up her phone towards Morag, urging her to come closer and inspect it.

Morag approached with a curious expression that quickly turned to one of bewilderment as she was faced with a lovingly detailed illustration of a Flareon. It was curled up and asleep in a small bed, an expression of comfortable contentment on its face.

"Flareons are just so _cute!_ I'd love to at least keep Flarey on my team. He's one of my favourites," Pyra said, her voice bubbling with pure joy and affection for her fictional pet. If it wasn't for the fact that he knew she'd just doomed them to an extension on this extra-curricular lesson, he'd have found her enthusiasm pretty adorable. He still did, really. He was just dimly aware that as cute as Pyra was, she had also just guaranteed that what was left of their afternoon plans was now dead in the water.

Morag narrowed her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. With a curt turn, she marched back towards the blackboard. Brighid lowered her hand, leaving the Flareon intact, for the moment.

"I appreciate your attachment to your comrade, Pyra. I assure you, I do. But I'm afraid a Flareon is simply not feasible in the current climate. Need I remind you of its highly limited moveset potential? Your options are few indeed with a Flareon, regardless of their aesthetic value..."

Rex leaned back in his chair, gazing up at the ceiling in defeat. Mythra grumbled a little too loudly, slumping her head onto her desk. This was going to take even longer than they thought.

 


	3. Culinary Innovation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pyra's weekend is spoilt when she discovers Mythra's latest midnight snack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why would i update the actual fic when i could write another dumb extra scene
> 
> a while back kawaiiboushi showed me a picture of a coffee orange and told me to put it in the au, so now i'm fulfilling that dark promise

Pyra had never seen anything like it.

Quite frankly, she would have preferred to keep it that way.

To a casual observer, it appeared to be but a humble orange, sitting peacefully atop the kitchen worktop. A friend to all, a wonderful source of vitamin C, and a great source of juice, should the need arise.

But Pyra knew better. She had approached this vile impostor, this masquerading fiend, and she knew that within its treacherous depths lay a dark secret. The top of the orange had been cut off, carelessly discarded next to the body and leaking a small puddle of juice around itself. She quietly slid a nearby knife a few inches away from the encroaching puddle. Traumatized she may be, but there was no need to get her equipment dirty.

Of course, doing that only ended up giving her a better view of the horror, which wasn't doing much for her already fragile emotional state.

It truly was awful. What kind of person could do a thing like this?  _Why_ would they do a thing like this?

She knew the answer to one of those questions already. The culprit was still asleep, snoring blissfully like she hadn't just violated several international laws.

It was the second question whose answer she feared in roughly the same way one fears an ancient tome of dark magic- the foul truths whispered within playing havoc upon even the sturdiest of minds.

And yet, she couldn't help but ask. Why? The more she looked at it, the less she understood.  _Why_ had Mythra done this?

The orange had been safe and happy in the fridge the last time she'd checked, a couple of hours before heading to bed. And Pyra always woke up well before Mythra, largely because she maintained a strict regiment of feeling incredibly sleepy by exactly 11pm, whereas Mythra would happily stay up until four in the morning if her schedule permitted it.

That meant Mythra had to have done this late at night. But late at night made no  _sense. This_ was not a late night food. It wasn't an  _any_ time of day food, but night was perhaps the most inappropriate time possible.

Pyra's eyes- which had been tightly shut in a pained grimace- cracked open just enough for the faintest flickers of vision to stream through.

She saw it again.

She hissed through her teeth in discomfort as she tried to confront the scene of the crime head on.

The insides of this pure, innocent orange had been gutted, the mangled citrus left a hollow shell of its former self. Pyra had thus far been unable to locate the rest of the corpse, which she hoped meant Mythra had at least had the decency to  _eat_ the orange. 

But of course, that didn't mean the orange was  _empty_ now. Oh no. If only that had been the case. Instead, Pyra was met with a cold, slightly congealed brown liquid sat miserably within its confines. White lumps floated with a slow, sickly gait through the liquid, like the wreckage of a capsized ship drifting lazily across a vast ocean. The telltale sign of Mythra's excessive use of sugar, despite Pyra's repeated, very worried warnings to her about achieving a properly balanced diet.

There was no other explanation for it. No avoiding the truth.

There was coffee in that orange. Ice cold, citrus-tinged coffee.

Pyra shuddered, unable to look at it any longer. It was just too much for her to bear, especially when that thing was already haunting every corner of her mind. Her eyes deserved the break her psyche would never get.

It just...didn't make any sense. None whatsoever. It  _didn't make sense_ why Mythra would be brewing up coffee so late at night, even accounting for her nocturnal sleep patterns. 

That wasn't even getting into the fact that they lived in an apartment with plenty of perfectly good mugs at their disposal. Their cupboards were filled to the brim with cute little matching sets of Best Sisters Forever mugs, which were  _not_ lame, despite Mythra's claims to the contrary. Pyra had caught her staring at her mug, eyes on the verge of tears as she read that slogan every other week. She  _knew_ Mythra liked using it. 

She'd had  _options._

And she'd chosen an orange.

The worst part was she hadn't even drunk all of it. It was still half-full. Her strongly held beliefs on what should or should not be poured into an orange aside, that was just  _wasteful_ . 

A door creaked slowly open, jerking Pyra out of her thoughts as she looked towards it. From the doorway emerged a vast mass of golden hair, each strand sticking out in a different direction, as though they were all desperate to escape their owner. Mythra's face sat in a barely conscious scowl, her eyes half-lidded and dim.

Despite her pain at Mythra's horrible deeds, Pyra couldn't help but feel a little happiness swell in her heart at the sight of her sister. She looked like she'd managed a better sleep than usual, since she'd just come out wearing her pajamas, rather than making her entrance while tightly wrapped in four layers of sheets. That was progress, and Pyra would always be proud of that.

Mythra padded with a sluggish, somber gait into the kitchen, giving Pyra a terse nod on her way to the fridge. Grabbing hold of an extra large bottle of chocolate milk and nothing else, she shut the fridge door with a heavy thud. She placed it next to a box of cereal- With A Rich Coating Of Chocolate, according to the cover- that had been left out by the fridge.  _Not_ where it was supposed to be, as Pyra had reminded her via several sticky notes with small doodles of an unusually cheery Mythra placing her cereal in the correct cupboard, but there were graver offences at hand right now. 

Then, after a moment's rummaging through their dishes, Mythra took the largest bowl in the apartment and placed it by the milk and cereal.. She opened up the box of cereal and held it upside down directly above the bowl, allowing its entire contents to rain down upon it. Finally, she emptied the chocolate milk into the bowl, the contents quickly submerged beneath a light brown ocean. Her completely stoic expression throughout all this betrayed no shame or sense of moderation in what she was doing.

And she did all that without even a glance of acknowledgement towards the coffee orange, Pyra noted. She'd returned to the scene of the crime, and she wasn't even going to admit there  _was_ a crime in the first place. She didn't know her one and only sister could be so cold-hearted.

Pyra walked up to her, placing her hand gently on Mythra's shoulder. Mythra glanced towards her, her face still blank. A short grunt of confusion escaped her lips.

Pyra smiled sadly at her and squeezed her shoulder.

"Mythra, I want you to know that you're my sister, and I love you, and...and I'll always support you, no matter what. But this..." she gestured towards the coffee orange, forlorn and forgotten on the other end of the counter, "It isn't acceptable. It isn't  _healthy._ We need to talk about this."

Mythra stared at the coffee orange for a moment with a perplexed frown.

"What, the coffee? I don't care if six a day is bad for me, I need them to function. I'll  _die_ , Pyra. You don't want me to die, do you?"

"I'm sure you won't die, Mythra," she said, although she now wasn't entirely convinced herself. Mythra sounded so serious, after all, and she wouldn't  _lie_ about something like that, surely? "But this isn't about the coffee. I mean...yes, it's about the coffee, but it's not about  _that_ ."

Pyra steeled herself, then approached the mangled orange and scooped it up into her hands with a wince. She thrust it towards Mythra, her grip on the orange as light as she could manage without dropping it.

"I mean  _this_ . The  _orange."_

"Oh," Mythra said. "Did you want some?"

"N-no! Mythra, why did you  _do_ this?!" Pyra cried, her eyes full of sorrow from this betrayal.

"I wanted coffee," she said flatly.

"In...inside an orange?" Pyra said weakly.

"I thought it'd give it some flavour," she replied with an ironclad belief in her own logic that Pyra was finding terribly difficult to cope with.

"You didn't have to use the  _whole_ orange for that...You could have just used a slice in or something..." 

Actually, now that she was saying that outloud, Pyra realized that sounded pretty good. Mythra had been on to something- she'd just come at it from a very bizarre angle.

"You know I like my flavours strong," Mythra said with a shrug.

"B-but...it's...it's just..."

"It's just  _what_ ."

"It's just not right! You don't pour coffee into an orange!" Pyra exclaimed.

Mythra scoffed. "Whatever, man. I'm breaking boundaries here. I'm an  _innovator._ You just don't get my genius."

"It's not just me! Look!" Pyra said, placing the orange gingerly back onto the counter. Now free, her hands dug into her pockets to search for her phone. She soon extracted it and, after a few swift taps, held it out for Mythra to take.

On the screen was a picture of the coffee orange, with several broken hearts edited around it. Below that was a series of texts between Pyra and Rex from around an hour ago.

" _i'm a little upset :("_

" _did mythra do this"_

" _yes :(_

_she left it out on the counter overnight >_<_

_it smells a little funny now..."_

_"why"_

_"i wish i knew... :("_

_".....did you try it?"_

_"no!!!!! >:("_

_"ok good! i was worried for a minute there_

_it looks pretty gross"_

_"oh thank you rex that's very sweet =^_^="_

_"=^_^="_

Mythra shoved the phone back into Pyra's hands. Their scathing reviews didn't appear to have fazed her in the slightest, although the all-too familiar disgust on her face made it pretty clear she hadn't enjoyed their perfectly normal means of expressing affection.

"So what, Rex doesn't like it either? Big deal. Just means neither of you understand true art when you see it."

"But, Nia agrees with us too," Pyra objected quietly.

"A genius is never understood in their own time," Mythra said, her tone resigned, yet unshakably confident in her own righteousness.

Her moment of lamentation over her finest work's rejection by the masses finished, she opened the overhead cupboard in front of her and took out her Best Sisters Forever mug. After trying to force down a sniffle- which Pyra noticed anyway, smiling quietly at her sister- Mythra placed her mug down next to her overflowing bowl of cereal. She then opened a jar of coffee beans and, contrary to Pyra's advice that she should really be adding a tablespoon's worth at best, proceeded to pour in beans until the bottom of the mug was covered in a thick layer of them.

The sight was- much like all of Mythra's misadventures in the kitchen- a deeply harrowing experience for Pyra. It was, however, a far more  _mundane_ atrocity. She was back on familiar ground, even if she was wading through a foot of coffee beans as a result.

"You're...not going to use another orange?" she asked with equal parts confusion and relief.

Mythra turned to her, dumbfounded.

"What? Hell no. That thing sucked."

Pyra's shoulders slumped in defeat. She really didn't know why she bothered anymore.

  
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> real talk i firmly believe pyra uses like forty <3's and ^_^s per text when talking to rex but i sacrificed the purity of my vision for the sake of readability


	4. Youtuber Zeke (REAL)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zeke's road to internet stardom is a rocky one indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a rich ecosystem of what each xenoblade 2 character would do on their youtube channel and this is just a single cursed glimpse into that world

The first thing the camera recorded was a pair of large feet, one of them tapping impatiently. They wore a pair of pitch-black socks adorned with a colony's worth of small green turtles. A moment later, it violently jerked upwards, the only thing visible an indistinct, multicolour blur that was, presumably, the furniture surrounding the cameraman.

His face soon came into view. Slightly too close for comfortable viewing. A far too intimate audience with his nose and the looming edges of his eyepatch filled the screen. Grumbling, he smudged a thumb onto the screen of his phone, zooming the footage back out to a more sensible distance, where it felt less likely that you'd be able to smell his breath through the screen.

His mouth was set in a heavy, deeply serious frown, but his single visible eye was wide with shock. It was as though he had unearthed a secret as mindblowing as it was devastating. A dark, hidden truth that mortal man had no business trifling with.

"Greetings, Bringers of Chaos," Zeke intoned, voice low and solemn. "I have been conducting some...research. And I have made a discovery that has thrown my entire life into question."

He began walking forwards, holding his phone at arm's length. Unfortunately, he did not have a particularly steady hand, causing the phone to bob up and down like a buoy in choppy waters. Zeke was an artisan at a very specific kind of film technique that caused the viewer to become motion sick within about two minutes of watching any of his videos. His unique directorial style had earnt him a rather niche audience, a solid half of which was Pandoria and a wide array of sockpuppet accounts she had set up to colourfully compliment him on his physique. But that still left the other, somewhat more sincere half of his budding fanbase, and Zeke von Genbu was never a man to let his audience down.

"For some time now, I've noticed some odd behaviour from my wife- shoutouts to xXxPandyGamingxXx, don't forget to like and subscribe," he added quickly. "I keep spotting her typing out these little messages on her phone and laptop...But not from her account. In fact, it seems like a different account every single time. Just what could she be doing, I wondered..."

He rounded a corner, his pace quickening. His features increasingly became a blur as his phone swayed more and more.

"Whenever I catch her composing those messages, she seems...furtive.  _Secretive._ As though she doesn't want me to know she's even  _writing_ them. I thought long and hard on it, and I can only arrive at one conclusion."

He screeched to a halt in a hallway, the light above his head granting him a certain eerie glow. With a look of anguished betrayal, he cried out.

"Pandoria...is a member of the  _Illuminati._ " He paused for several seconds. In the raw footage, this gave the impression that Zeke had completely forgotten where he was going with this revelation and was stalling for time. One more familiar with his creative process, however, would know that he'd just given himself a nice window to slot in as much of the X-Files theme as he could without immediately being banned for copyright infringement.

"That's right," he said, "The Illuminati."

Another pause. Another few seconds of X-Files added during post-production.

"It all adds up. They must know who I am. Zeke von Genbu, Bringer of Chaos? Why, that's exactly the kind of maverick a secret society running the world from the shadows is  _terrified_ of! So they sent her in as a double agent, a seductress! To get close to me, they sent in the perfect woman...," he mused, caught between adoration and heartbreak. "And all those messages from mysterious new accounts? Burner emails. Proxies. All to cover her tracks- or...her  _masters'_ tracks."

He began walking forward again, with the same nausea-inducing urgency as before.

"And now that I've exposed her dastardly plan, I'm about to confront her face-to-face. Don't go anywhere, Bringers of Chaos! The Zekenator's about to expose the Illuminati live on air!"

With a press of the screen, Zeke flipped the phone's camera round, just in time for it to capture him opening the door to their living room. Pandoria sat cross-legged on the sofa, hand idly dipping into an extra-large bag of Doritos. Nacho cheese, her official Gamer Flavour. She wore a loose black shirt, the affirming statement "Yes, I'm A Gamer Girl, Yes, I Have Elf Ears" written in searing pink across it. She did not currently have elf ears, but hey, it was the weekend. No wearing your uniform on a day off.

Zeke pointed an accusing finger at her, twisting his arm at an uncomfortable angle to get it in the shot.

"The jig is up, Pandy! You've been found out!"

"Huh? What'd I do?" she said, mouth still full of crunchy treats.

"Oh, I think you know, Little Miss Femme Fatale!"

"Is that...a compliment? Thanks, I guess."

"It's a compliment, alright- a compliment to your  _acting skills!_ Give it up, Pandy!" The phone shook violently as Zeke thursted his hand out for another point. "The Illuminati would have to get up pretty early in the morning to fool the Zekenator, and you always get up an hour after me! You've got no chance!"

Pandoria let out a weary sigh.

"My Prince..."

"Go ahead! Try and worm your way out of this!"

"I thought our next conspiracy video was gonna be ghost hunting on campus."

Zeke stared blankly at her.

"That's...that's  _this_ week?" he asked weakly.

"Yeah, dumbass. Where's all this Illuminati stuff coming from? I don't have any material prepared! You gotta give me time to work out my character!" She huffed, folding her arms. "Go get your costume. We're supposed to leave in a couple hours."

"You don't want to at least try some improv?" Zeke said pleadingly.

"No way, dude. I gotta focus on my ghost hunter bit."

"Fine..." he whined.

His shoulders sagging and his video in ruins, Zeke turned and trudged out of the room. Once the coast was clear, he raised his phone back to head height.

"Well, Bringers of Chaos, it looks like she's still in denial. But fear not!" he said, the theatrical raising of his voice sounding far more forced than normal. "We'll get her next time. Until then, this is the Zekenator, telling you to stay Chaotic!"

He pressed his screen once again, the footage cutting off abruptly.

For some time afterwards, Zeke seriously considered uploading this botched video as "EXPOSING MY WIFE AS ILLUMINATI DOUBLE AGENT (GONE WRONG)" before deciding not to dilute the integrity of the Zekenator Brand, deleting it instead.

The eventual "GHOST HUNTING AT TANTAL UNIVERSITY (REAL) (NOT CLICKBAIT)" video, however, proved rather popular, even if the first comment received was "u guys suck lol" from notorious troll QueenMyffy69.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is ur fault kawaiiboushi


End file.
